World War Four

Sorry for the delay... The start of our glorious new war was delayed by that diversionary feint in the UN when things got out of control and peace almost broke out. Fortunately we were able to bring the vicious pacifists wimps under control and have been able to get the Shock and Awe campaign under way with a rocking rolling start.

Note that this is World War 4 not WW3... neocon doctrine states that the cold war was World War 3... so this new war is World War 4 to ensure the imposition of a New World Order on all the oppressed oil producing areas of the world.

The ungrateful Iraqis demonstrated why they need to be liberated by their churlish response to our valiant crusade to free them from oppression. Although this has slowed down the Iraq phase of World War Four, we're sure that we'll be able to bring the Syrians and others into the fray on schedule if we keep up the baiting and taunting. So please be patient... these things take time. It takes a lot of work to get a World War organized when so many countries can't seem to get with the program.

But first we really have to hand it to this fine coalition of the willing. Our coalition started with just a small, dedicated group of countries arrayed against the evildoers, but the skillful diplomacy and righteous coercion of the Bush team have finally added so many countries that we're well into double digits now!

Our hats go off to these new members of our coalition of the willing: No one can doubt the symbolic contributions of these valuable coalition members. Certainly this was an expensive endeavor, but well worth every billion. Turkey has been an expensive disappointment but, with the much anticipated addition of the Kingdom of Tonga, even the feckless French will take notice of this unstoppable coalition.

As our fearless leader explained, we're making steady progress like a nutcracker cracking a nut. Of course, we'll have to keep the gloves on for the time being till we can get a few more countries involved against us. But do be patient. If we can get a good fray going we may even be able to finally go nuclear. Keep those prayers coming. Transitioning from a local constabulary action to a full fledged World War takes skill and cunning. But our stealth tactics will prevail in the end and we will have our World War.

Some visitors to the WorldWar4.org web site have objected to the inclusion of the Philippines on the list of liberation candidates, claiming that this is a "friendly" country. After all, why go through the expense of liberating a friendly country with few oil reserves? But it's important to realize that we will need large bases on the island of Mindanao in the Southern Philippines in order to conduct liberation bombing campaigns to free Indonesia (next on the list).

Paying a formerly friendly country for basing rights is simply not cost effective and can be fraught with problems. One need only look at what happened in Turkey when those ingrates reminded us that we had never reimbursed them for what we promised them in the 1st Gulf War. Not only that, but the fixed capital expense of the initial payment would doubtless be followed by recurring lease payments and these come out of the operating budget. So it has been deemed that it will be more cost effective, faster and more effective to simply liberate the Philippines. Remember that this was a former American colony anyway and it has made an irresponsible mess of itself since we foolishly granted it independence in 1946.

Note that we have not included the start dates for each liberation in the box. That is sensitive information and many feel that we should not publish a definitive time line because so many un-American people are trying to slow it down. Certainly the French have been very un-American about this. It's no coincidence that that loathsome word "detente" is a French word... it typifies their wimpish, pro-peace attitude.